Lawyer/Attorney Jokes

Courtesy: Email Circulation

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is
> he?
> WITNESS: He’s twenty, much like your IQ.
> ___________________________________________
> ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
> WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
> _________________________________________
> ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was
> August 8th?
> ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
> WITNESS: getting laid
> ____________________________________________
> ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
> ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
> WITNESS: None.
> ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
> WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney.
> Can I get a new
> attorney?
> ____________________________________________
> ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
> WITNESS: By death.
> ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
> WITNESS: Take a guess.
> ____________________________________________
> ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
> WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
> ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
> WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with
> male.
> _____________________________________

> ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST
> be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
> WITNESS: Oral.
> ______________________________________
> And the best for last:
> ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
> check for pulse?
> ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
> ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
> ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was
> alive when you began the autopsy?
> ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
> WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a
> jar.
> ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been
> alive, nevertheless?
> WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive
> and practicing law.



Howdy!! I am a Blogger,a Writer and a Cartoonist! I maintain around 14 blogs ranging from cartoons,food,travel,photography,sci tech,music to reviews on books and movies.
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