Management Lessons

Lesson 1:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie appears.
The Genie says, ‘I’ll grant each of you just one wish.’
‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’
Puff! She’s gone.

‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’
Puff! He’s gone too.

‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch.’

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 2
An eagle was sitting high on a tree, resting, doing what every eagle likes to do – nothing. A rabbit sees the eagle and askes him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’
The eagle answers: ‘Sure, why not.’
unable to jump onto the same branch as the eagel, the rabbit perches itself on the lower branch and rests. Suddenly, a fox appears, sees the rabbit, pounces on it and eats it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 3
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’
‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.’
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was so proud of his achievement that he began to sing with joy…
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there..

Lesson 4
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold that the bird froze and fell into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you’re neck deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

Advertisements

About ARCHER!

Howdy!! I am a Blogger,a Writer and a Cartoonist! I maintain around 14 blogs ranging from cartoons,food,travel,photography,sci tech,music to reviews on books and movies.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s